Ravens, Romance, and Rowing Rakes

I always feel slightly weird when I finish reading a novel. You know how it goes. It’s that emotional investment. I always feel as though I’ve come to inhabit the thing. Inhabit. Immerse. Yes, I’ve been known to wallow. I get a sense of vulnerability when I reach the end of the final page, and this lasts until the next engagement. I’ve been striving to make this gap progressively shorter, but it hasn’t fully disappeared. I can’t really embrace the idea of reading lists. Despite the awkward interregnum that always occurs, I feel that I’m generally able to happen upon the right book for the time, and I tend to believe that any set order could interfere with that. For this reason I endure.

I just finished “The Twelfth Enchantment”, a comfortable historical fantasy. It’s a genre I regularly enjoy, and this story's timely use of Austen’s particular flavour of love triangle was emphasised further for me by the fact that I reached the end of the book shortly after I saw “Bridget Jones’s Diary”. It can often be amusing to see the revelation of the supposed scoundrel’s gallantry as the apparently chivalrous suitor is shown to be a Byronic rake, though the effect is slightly spoiled when the latter is actually Byron. Still, liberal use of dead literary figures always tickles me. I believe that this is adequately evinced by my ardent devotion to John Cusack’s turn in “The Raven”.

I’m going to take this opportunity to briefly talk about Hugh Grant again. A fair number of his roles tend to occupy the Byronic corner of Austen’s triangle, but he portrayed the real Byron in “Rowing with the Wind”, a reasonably obscure Spanish film that preceded all of those roles. That seems backward somehow. Backward or prophetic. 

Update on Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 11:42PM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best dead literary figure? I'll tell you after I die.

Actual Love

"Bridget Jones's Diary" was playing at the theatre recently. I saw that. I love that stuff. It has the whole intersection of romance and loneliness that I deeply appreciate, and it has Hugh Grant. Beyond that, there's something about the combination of a British thing that's trying to imitate Hollywood and a Hollywood thing that's trying to imitate Britain that always gets me. "Love Actually" got me through some tough times. When I was 17, I was sent to spend the end of my summer in a hospital for some random heart inconvenience that came up on me. I didn't have a lot to do. I read. That's when I tried knitting. I'd obtained a copy of "Love Actually". I'd never seen it before, but I proceeded to watch it repeatedly. It's always good. I think that a bunch of Hugh Grant films might have been on television at that point, but it might have just been "Mickey Blue Eyes". That dude just happens to be in a lot of films that soothe my soul. Total love.  I was also really excited to see "Love Actually" for Alan Rickman, but his hair colour in that film seemed to sap a good bit of his charm. 

My aunt also happened to be on a trip to the city from England at the time, and she told me about Alan Rickman's actions at the performance school where she taught. It basically seemed to be his own personal reenactment of Snape's actions in the final Harry Potter book that had just been released. You know that part where he takes over the school and turns it into a crazy place? It was like that. I'm sure that it was for love, though. Like that thing in the book.

Update on Monday, December 3, 2012 at 02:03AM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best random heart inconvenience? Love.

Spaghetti and Meat Bombs

I’m starting to notice the fact that the only countries that get those emergency parachute packages are the war ones. The Toronto skyline is a decent one, but it’s not a sight that has ever been dubiously blessed by flying sandwiches. To my knowledge. If I’m wrong, it’s alright because I used the phrase “to my knowledge”. If you have ever seen full picnics descend from urban skies like revelatory angels, you can feel free to correct me. No hard feelings. Honestly. I’d welcome the input. It gets very lonely here.

Anyway. The places that get the gift baskets are the unsteady ones. The ones with the guns and the mines. The mines seem to be a slightly bigger deal when packages are getting randomly dropped across the land.

Your lunch has just landed in a minefield. Are you going to take the risk? How easily navigable are these places? I wouldn’t even wander into a corn maze for a free meal. I’m not going to dodge subterranean ninja explosives for some bread and a few apple slices. Oh? There’s caramel dip? This does nothing for me.

I can’t speak for everybody. Obviously. That’s obvious. I don’t pretend to do so. I never would. I might if I were paid for it. That would be the one exception. Apart from that, I never would.

Maybe the risk is acceptable for you. That’s alright. Maybe this whole thing is a worthy endeavour for you. Perhaps the quest is a reasonable one. How do I know? I don’t. Really. There’s an easy diagnostic, though. Which is more important to you? Salami or your leg?

Again. It’s not for me to judge.

I’m just struck by the frequency with which minefields and parachute meals coincide. Is it some sort of Pavlovian thing? Are the people with the button fingers just trying to bring people around to the state of affairs where bombs are concerned? Is that what’s happening? Are they attempting to make people more comfortable with explosions? Someone’s missing an arm and a few facial features, but he got a salad out of the deal. Mines and meals! After the next one, he’ll have a missing foot and lasagna. After a while, explosions and food are just going to be intrinsically linked in his mind. He’ll salivate when he hears loud noises.

“When’s dinner?”
“Oh. Sorry, dear. I just dropped the phonebook.”

On the other hand, he might just cower under the dinner table when he sees a plate of spaghetti.

Update on Monday, November 26, 2012 at 02:05AM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best bomb? Sex.

News Cake

Doesn't this seem moderately redundant? It's a sign on a comic book store. Do they fear that people just naturally assume that they don't sell Marvel comics? This isn't a restaurant. Comic shops generally aren't encouraged to be partisans of one company over another, nor could they afford to be. Waiters who take requests for Coca-Cola are wont to say, "Sorry. We don't carry Coca-Cola. Is Pepsi okay?" This has been known to discourage repeated visits by a fairly specific type of customer in establishments that are otherwise impeccable. It's somewhat ridiculous, but it happens. It's a scenario that finds acceptance in reality. This Marvel affair doesn't.

"Hey. Do you have any 'X-Men' comics?"

"No. No, I'm sorry. We don't carry Marvel. Is 'The Flash' okay?"

I don't even feel required to mention the giant Hulk bust in the window.

Update on Sunday, November 18, 2012 at 11:27PM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best cake? Red velvet.

Update on Sunday, November 18, 2012 at 11:29PM by Jaymes Buckman

I almost forgot the news cake.

C'est la V

Guy Fawkes Day just passed, and I happened to hear a lot of allegations against celebrants who supposedly missed some or all of its various points.The fact that its current popularity in North America is largely built upon the masks that have become increasingly available through the phenomena of “V for Vendetta” and Anonymous produces similar arguments from adherents of both. There are people who say that the comic diminishes the revolutionary, people who say that the movie diminishes the comic, people who say that the activist group diminishes the character, and people who just think that the call for anarchy is nothing but the hyperbolic whine of the wealthy youth’s dissatisfaction with the illegality of marijuana.

I can’t really support any of these viewpoints with true conviction, but my disposition tends towards the apolitical. In light of this, it probably seems silly for me to talk about politics at any sort of length, but the only thing that could ever match my silliness is my verbosity.

In any case, I can’t doubt that V is a worthy successor to Fawkes. The revolutionary claims of both men, supposedly made in the name of righteousness, served only to justify what they did for the sake of their personal grievances.

In this sense, I believe that the mask is a perfectly appropriate symbol for the hordes of marijuana anarchists who give their own voices to enhance the immortal confusion of political discourse. 

Update on Monday, November 12, 2012 at 02:29AM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best mask? The.