Why Aren't You People at School?

At the beginning of the spring, I started working at a job that often brought me onto the campus of the school I left in the previous year. In the middle of the summer, that job brought me into contact with someone who gave me similar work on weekend nights in the club district. I just realised that I’ve had more encounters with people who knew me from school at the clubs than I’ve had at the actual school. 

Update on Monday, November 5, 2012 at 03:52AM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best college? Invisible.

I Don't Really Know How These Got Here

I said that I was the saviour, you lunatics.

When I was 14, I had some mosquito bites that resembled the Big Dipper. This came in the midst of a minor obsession with the totemic significance of the bear. In my shamanistic delusion, I welcomed the appearance of the ursine constellation on my arm. 

Happiness is the warm panoply of my messianic powers. I'll get around to saving the world when it suits me. 

Update on Monday, October 29, 2012 at 12:54AM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best bear? Sir Iorek Byrnison.

Inconsistencies

Only the very best rabbits may wear the Bunny Hat.

I saw this really stylish dude at the zombie party yesterday. He was wearing a tight black bra, tiny shorts, and a rabbit hood from which a sharp wave of black hair protruded. His stomach also protruded, but I noticed that he had a really beautiful back. Seriously. Are back models a thing? He would be at the top of that field. That thing was sculpted from iron wax. Its contours flowed in sinewy glory, and it glowed like burnished cream. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen such striking inconsistency in a gentleman’s beauty, though I have seen a fair number of mediocre guys with great hair.

Update on Monday, October 22, 2012 at 03:26AM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best Bunny? Hills.

A Modicum of Mercy to the Neutral Evil

 

I feel that the centipedes I find in the outside world seem less deliberately offensive in their abhorrence. House centipedes seem nefarious in their abominable ugliness. The former seem to understand why they have to die. They know that I can't accept them at any point in my life, and they accept that fact to be a part of their own truncated lives. They've made peace with the situation that they've become through the sheer nature of their existence. House centipedes scurry around with baleful glares and a compact aura of palpable malice. If I had any extra zeal to give to their slaughter, they would receive it. They shall learn what comes to villains who twirl their moustaches so audaciously. They shall learn it through their stupid oozing backs. 

Update on Monday, October 15, 2012 at 01:16AM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best alien worm beast? Hutts.

Replacements

At the beginning of the summer, I lost a card holder that essentially contained all of the things I use for everything. Transit pass. Debit card. Reward cards for various places. I only managed to replace the first two because of sheer necessity. I can't say that I am always motivated to go out and acquire things, but I am absolutely awful at replacing things. If I lost all of my stuff in a fire, I'm not even sure that financial cost would be my biggest consideration. I'd be more annoyed by the effort that I'd need to expend in order to go out and find things that I'd previously possessed. It would just be awesome to have an insurance company that would take a mildly excessive amount of money to create some portal to Hell that would return all of your things. I suppose that the alternative would be some agency that just let you take all of your resurrected stuff back at no cost if you were willing to actually go out and get it. I don't think that I'd take the second option over the first. It's just difficult for me to motivate myself to do something that I've already done. I suppose that I take a while to feel loss. Why would I go out to buy something I already have? I know that I don't have it anymore, but I still have the sensation of possession. It's phantom comfort. It's hard enough to do something that's completely unnecessary once. It just gets more unnecessary when I have to do it again.

Update on Monday, October 8, 2012 at 02:12AM by Jaymes Buckman

Bonus Question!

Best phantom? Billy Zane. He's a cool dude.